iPotion
by schillingklaus
Summary: When Sam is sick from excessive eating, she needs a strange potion. Fredward/Samantha, Carly/Dustin, Spencer/Zoey, Nevel/Quinn, Jake/Lola


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**The Potion**

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**Rating: **Teenagers

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _iCarly Show_ or _Zoey 101_

**Summary: **Fluff, Angst, Family, Friendship, ... Sam suffers from a strange food poisoning. Only an ancient druidic potion may save her. Freddie/Sam, Carly/Dustin, Spencer/Zoey, Jake/Lola, Nevel/Quinn

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#1#Nacho Fest  
##1.1#Happy Birthday, Sam!  
##1.2#The Party  
##1.3#Morning After  
#2#Mistletoe Potion  
##2.1#Quinn Pensky  
##2.2#We Rue It  
#3#The Remedy  
##3.1#Potions  
##3.2#Conclusion

**Author's Note: **Armor is a region in Northwestern France

**1 Nacho Fest**

**1.1 Happy Birthday, Sam!**

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Sun came up from the mountain braes, and it was breaking the high ground when Sam woke up for her eighteenth birthday. As usual, she wasn't home, but slept over on Carly's couch.

Spencer came just crawling down the stairs. "Happy Birthday, Sam!" he yawned. "Or was it Hannukah? Easter?" Spencer shrugged helplessly.

Sam yawned as well. "Thanks."

Spencer brewed Sam's favourite coffee, a javaccino.

Carly came downstairs. "Happy birthday, Sam!" She slipped into her pants, donned a jacket, and made her way across the hall in order to ring Freddie's bell.

Freddie was barely awake, well.

Carly grabbed his elbow and dragged Freddie into her loft, forcing him to greet Sam.

"Happy birthday!" Freddie bellowed sarcastically at Sam.

Spencer made more of Sam's favourite breakfast.

"We've prepared a party for you tonight," Carly told Sam, "with lotsa ham."

Sam beamed brightly.

Freddie didn't say anything until he announced that he had to take a tick lotion.

Carly admonished Freddie to be back in time for the party, secure in the knowledge that Freddie would rather skip it.

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**1.2 The Party**

* * *

Carly and her friends sang _She's a jolly good fellow_ to Sam.

Even Fred chimed in, albeit in a non-convincing manner.

Jake Crandle had strum the lute. Fortunately he had kept his mouth shut while the others sang.

Sam was most interested in the buffet. "Get away, this is my party!" Sam yelled at topless Gibby.

Carly had invited Gibby as well, but what should she do? Face Sam's wrath? "Sorry Gibby, Sam doesn't seem to want you here." Carly sighed in despair.

Gibby wasn't too sad, anyways.

Spencer presented his latest sculpture, but nobody was interested.

Carly comforted her elder brother.

Spencer cried piteously. "You'll be an adult soon, as well, and then I'll be all alone,])" (p [Carly wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist. "I'll always be your little sister. Besides, you're old enough to look for a wife to wash and clean after you!"

Spencer sobbed and moaned. "They always run away after two weeks. I guess I take a taco!" Soencer went ot the buffet table, but there was no nacho left. He grumbled inside when he saw Sam stuffing the last nacho with tapenade down her jaw. But what should he have done? For the better or worse, it was Sam'd birthday party.

The party went on and on. More and more guests had to leave.

Sam burped rudely.

Freddie told Carly that he had noticed that Sam had eaten more than two thirds of the sancks they had prepared for the party.

Carly sighed, she hadn't noticed it because she had been busy comforting Spencer, but she should have seen it coming. "That's Sam, and I love her for this."

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**1.3 Morning After**

* * *

Next morning, Sam woke up and whimpered in agony.

Carly went looking after her. "Sam!"

"Nothing," Sam calmed Carly, "just a bit of a sore stomach."

Carly didn't wonder a lot, as Sam had really swallowed a mountain at the party. She went to the pharmacy chest and took some pils and drops to Sam. "Those will help!" She went back to bed, while Sam tried to get along with her aching guts.

Alas, the pains didn't ease.

"That serves her right!" Freddie remarked when he came over to look after Carly and Sam.

Carly was of a slightly different opinion and slapped Freddie.

Spencer decided to call Dr. Lang.

Sam had already puked her guts out, but the pains were still there.

Finally, Lang arrived in order to examine Sam.

"You'll have to cut her open from head to toe, right?" Freddie asked the medic, grinning sadistically.

Dr. Lang sighed. "It appears to be a very strange food poisoning which is caused by eating too many nachos in combination with tapenade. There's no remedy beknownst to anyone."

Carly shrieked.

Freddie bounced around, cheering enthusiastically.

"Well, no remedy I'm allowed to talk about!" Dr. Lang continued, her voice low.

"Spit it out!" Carly begged. "We may pretend not to have heard a thing!"

"She's bound to the oath of Hypocrites!" Freddie chuckled.

"Long ago, the druids of the Armorican coast brewed a panacea, a potion that cured all strange diseases." Lang sighed, "The recipe is lost, and it would hardly be legal, but I know someone who is working on its rediscovery. Her name is Quinn Pensky. Her alpaca is my patient."

"Whatever," Carly squealed, "we need to contact that Pensky! It's Sam's only chance."

The same morning, Carly received a video message from Nevel Papperman, with the usual content: Do you rue it? And, by Jove, she did.

* * *

**2 Mistletoe Potion**

**2.1 Quinn Pensky**

* * *

Quinn Pensky was living near Seattle and maintained a secret laboratory. She arrived the next day.

Carly was surprised because Quinn was not much older than Sam. "Hi, I'm Carly. So you cured your llama with a strange potion?"

Quinn was upset. "Alpaca! It's not a llama, but an alpaca. The potion is still in preparation, good enough for lovesick alpacas, but I haven't tried it on food-poisoned humans."

Carly shrugged. She didn't care at all about the small differences. Sam's life was much more important than that.

The potion was still missing one essential ingredient. "I need mistletoe essence!" Quinn announced. "Mistletoe essence is as close to a cure-all as it may get. But it's incredibly hard to get at, because we need Armorican mistletoes."

Carly shrugged helplessly. Then she had an idea, a last straw. "Our web show is seen all over the world, maybe our viewers will help us."

Quinn nodded. "We should try it." Then she saw Freddie and hugged him.

"Hey, what's going on?" Carly asked the two of them

"Quinn is my cousin," Freddie boomed, "didn't you know that?"

Carly shrugged. Fredward Benson's mother was too much for her to stomach, she had never dared to care about any other relative Freddie might have had.

Freddie had an onbjection. "Who will be your co-moderator? Sam for sure can't!"

Carly shrugged. "A webcast without Sam, that will be impossible!"

Quinn had an idea. "My friends Zoey and Lola are here for a few days. Lola is an aspiring Hollywood actress and loves being a co-contemplator of a popular show, as she loves to be seen by the masses."

Carly smiled. She knew that, in virtue of Sam's situation, she had no reason to do that, but , all the pains notwithstanding, she couldn't help it. An aspiring Hollywood actress by her side! Carly felt like having struck a gold mine!

Quinn also mentioned that Zoey's little brother Dustin would accompany the girls.

Carly didn't care for these details. The prospects of working with Lola made her swoon in ecstasy. She had seen her acting in the movie Jerk In The Well by her favourite producer Malcolm Reese. She loved all of his movies and would have died for meeting one of his actors or actresses. And now her dream was about becoming true.

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**2.2 We Rue It**

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Zoey, Lola, and Dustin arrived at Bushwell plaza.

Carly opened the door to herloft, making the visitors come in.

"I'm a great fan of your show!" Dustin confessed right away when he shook Carly's hand.

Carly blushed. Dustin was really cute and all cuddly. But she didn't have much time for him. "Er ... that's nice, but there's not enough room up in the attic. You'll have to watch it from here with Spencer, you know him?"

Dustin nodded. "Sure, he's a lot of fun!" He ran over to Spencer.

Ignoring everything else, Carly's mind was set on Lola Martinez.

They stepped up the stairs to the attic.

Freddie had shown his current equipment to Quinn.

Most of the apparati were Quinn's inventions. she was a brilliant problem solver, especially on the technological sector. She had invented her own operational system, Quinndoze QP, which was at the heart of Freddie's equipment. The greenscreen was also a Quinnvention.

Quinn snuck out of the room, leaving Freddie behind.

"Online in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1" Freddie oppened the webcast.

"I'm Carly" the host said, "I know, you expect to see Sam, but she's sick. Therefore we have Lola Martinez! Or, should I say ..." Carly listed Lola's roles in various movies that came straight to her mind.

"Hi, I'm Lola!" The star actress smiled. "My hair is styled with ..." she felt being nudged by Carly.

The hosts started to explain what had happened to Sam and what she needed. This was the point when Quinn had to return to the studio.

It took Quinn over ten minutes explaining what kind of mistletoes she needed.

Freddie grumbled. "We had almost 1,000,000 viewers before Quinn started to talk, now we only have like 100,000" He concluded that Quinn's talk had been too scientific for most viewers.

Suddenly, the greenscreen activated itself, displaying Carly's worst enemy.

"So you rue the day, Carly?" Nevel Papperman grinned sadistically from the screen. "You rue it, yeah? Dustopia, Carly!"

Quinn wondered who was that.

"Nevel! What the!" Spencer was dismayed. He explained unto Zoey what Nevel had done to Carly.

Dustin was particularly upset. "He's so dead!" he screamed in jealousy when he heard about Nevel having kissed Carly. Dustin blushed deeply. When Carly returned from the roof, Dustin asked her: "How shall I kill Nevel? I've seen how to do it using chopsticks."

"Reminds me not to go to a sushi bar again with Dustin!" Zoey remarked.

"You're a very responsible and protective elder sister, right?" Spencer asked Zoey.

She nodded softly. "I try to do my best there ..."

"I've been responsible for Carly for ten years,]) Spencer said. "I've left college in order to become a freelance artist. This allowed me to be more flexible, but maybe I've lost a lot of sense for responsibility. Grandpa didn't approve of that step. He would have preferred me to go through law school."" (p [Zoey sighed. "I might have become a good lawyer. I've often talked Dustin out of detention and so on," she moaned. "but my passion has always been and will always bee fashion design."

"Fashion design ... how do you like my socks? My pal Socko made them."

Zoey's jaw dropped. "Fantastic. Would you like me to make you some corresponding pants, shirts and so on?"

"Spencer swooned. So ... it's possible to be a creative artist and a responsible elder sibling at the same time?" Spencer asked.

Zoey confirmed him. "And Carly is such a nice girl. This shows that you've cared well for her."

"Oh, it does?" Spencer shrugged.

"If she's so nice," Dustin asked carefully, "could you maybe accept Carly as a sister-in-law?"

Of course there were two possible ways that Carly could have become Zoey's sister-in-law. Zoey wasn't sure what Dustin meant. Spencer was at least ten years older. Not that it would matter sub specie aeligternitatis, but it would be crazy at that moment. She had to admit, though, that she got along with Spencer more than with any man of her age, including her ex-boyfriend Chase Matthews who had disappeared a year ago without warning. Zoey blushed. On the other hand, Dustin might have had a crush on Carly, which was not unlikely as Carly was so sweet, smart, and charming. But Dustin and Carly were much too young for even thinking about ... Zoey passed out from the tension.

Quinn looked through her portable laboratory, in search of something to make Zoey regain consciousness.

Carly had overheard Dustin's remark and pulled him aside. "How did you mean that? I and Zoe as in-laws?"

Dustin blushed.

Carly understood. She didn't wonder that many boys who watched her show had a crush on her. But Dustin was so cute and smart, and then there were his puppy eyes ... "So you're at the same school where Quinn used to be, a very elitary private school close to Hollywood?"

Dustin nodded. He started talking about his school and his friends to Carly, getting her interested.

Quinn took a potion and made Zoey sniff from it. "The same thing that I gave to Otiz."

Zoey woke up, but she was dizzy.

"Otiz?" Spencer wondered.

"Her llama ..." Lola explained.

"Alpaca!" Quinn yelled. "Otiz is an alpaca!"

Freddie had been watching the replies to the show. They were catastrophic. Viewers adored Lola, but hated Quinn's talk about mistletoes. Noone had cared about Sam's disease.

The door bell rang. Spencer opened for Jake Crandle.

"Hi, I've heard that Sam was sick. I'm coming in order to play a song for her." Jake bounded in, clamping his guitar.

"Just don't sing, or ..." Freddie threatened the blond rake.

"Hey, I know someone who looks like you?" Lola remarked.

Jake nodded. "I have a twin brother in California, near Hollywood."

"James Garrett?" Lola skreeched. "Is that your twin browther?"

"Sure!" Jake beamed. Then he played a song for Sam. "So you are famous Lola Martinez?"

Lola beamed, "I'm on the brink to a real Hollywood star. I hope to make it this year. Don't you want to join in? We still need gifted guitar players."

Jake smiled. "I'd die for this."

"No! I want you alive!" Lola beamed before her lips slipped against Jake's.

"I am giften in two things: Kissing and playing the guitar." Jake boasted before he kissed Lola back.

Lola nodded. "That's great!"

Carly shuddered with disgust when she saw Lola making out with Jake. She understood that she should abandon the rake. "Dustin, do you really like me, or is it just some stupid fan crush?"

Dustin blushed totally, leaving Carly with no doubt.

Still, there was no hope left for Sam.

* * *

**3 The Remedy**

**3.1 Potions**

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Quinn tried to improve her potion, the lack of mistletoe essence notwithstanding. The stuff was not bad, but not efficient enough to help Sam. "Don't touch those potions!" Quinn ordered Carly and Freddie. "I have to get something from the chemist's shop to mix into the potions."

Carly didn't care to touch. She was about playing confess or stress with Dustin and Zoey, anyways.

Alas, Freddie was another story. He had been sleeping badly because of a beginning flu. "I'm sneezing worse than Jeremy!" he moaned.

"I've sold a picture of Lola's slippers on the internet auction site. For 200 bucks!" Dustin confessed.

Zoey looked sternly, but relaxed immediately. "Lola so had it coming!" She flipped the coin. "Oops, I've got to stress."

Dustin and Carly wondered what to do. Drinking from Quinn's potion was not an option.

"Call our headmaster!" Carly handed Zoey the number of principal Theodore Franklin.

Zoey sighed. She pushed the buttons. "Hello Mr. Franklin, may I talk to your daughter Jeannie? ... What? You don't have a daughter named Jeannie? ... But I've seen her last night! ..." Zoey dropped the link and reconnected. "Hi dad! This is Jeannie, your daughter! Don't you rememberme?"

Carly and Dustin laughed themselves into oblivion.

While the three other kids played Confess or Stress, Freddie snuck in the kitchen. He drank from the potion Quinn had just been working on. Suddenly, he heard steps out in the hall. Probably Quinn was coming back, thus Freddie decided to slip into the room where Sam was resting.

"Who sipped from this potion?" Quinn yelled at the top of her lungs.

"We've been playing Confess or Stress all the time!" Zoey swore. "Except Fredward!"

"Freddie was complaining about a cough and headache!" Carly explained

"Oh dear, thsi was not the healing potion!" Quinn shried. "It was ..."

"Tell us, please!" Dustin begged.

Quinn sighed. "It was the love potion!"

Carly, Dustin, and Zoey looked at each other and shrugged.

They followed into the room where Sam had been sleeping and watched Freddie.

"Sam, sugarbabe!" Freddie whispered tenderly into the sick teenie's direction. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips against hers.

Sam was puzzled. "Freddie?" She stood up and wrapped her arms around Freddie and pulled him closer for a yet much longer kiss. Her pains were gone with the wind, and so was Freddie's cold.

"Hey, they are no longer sick!" Quinn remarked while Carly, Dustin, and Zoey sighed in awe.

Spencer overheard the situation. "So Freddie's affection that was the remedy for Sam's illness. And we've been looking for mistletoes all over the world."

The others nodded.

"That's downright crazy!" Spencer shrugged.

In this moment, Nevel bounded in. "Do you rue it?"

"No way!" the others yelled unison.

"Nevel Papperman!" Quinn screamed, "So you claim that your brain is bigger than mine? And that your nerves are more sensitive?"

"Of course! Prove that they aren't!" Nevel boomed.

Quinn pulled Nevel into the next room they tried hard to boast with their brains, but they could not trump each other as they were peers.

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**3.2 Conclusion**

* * *

Quinn and Nevel would join forces and create many more useful and funny potions with all sorts of strange effects.

Jake and Lola would make it straight into Malcolm Reese's next movie, Camp Pop II. After the movie they would marry and be happie ever after.

Dustin and Carly would wait for a few years before making Nevel play the wedding macrh for them on his piano. At their wedding, Spencer and Zoey wouldn't be able to help taking a chance on each other, and they would never have to regret it.

Freddie and Sam? If they haven't broken, they are still kissing ... and kissing ... and kissing ...

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End file.
